Stay Sane. Shop Smart.

3 mindset tools for surviving the holidays + 21 high-ROI purchases worth making this BFCM + a giveaway!!!

Hello angels!!!!!!

I’m praying you’ve made it through any Thanksgiving drama by now — and if you haven’t, take a deep breath, sister. This week is always a blur of emotions and logistics, the messy runway into a holiday season that claims to be peaceful but rarely is.

I’m back in St. Louis at the moment, surrounded by my family, a seriously wild blend of chaos, contradictions, political divides, and unconditional loyalty. It’s messy, but it’s mine, and I feel more lucky for it this year than ever.

But I know that this season has a special way of activating us: old fears, criticisms, childhood wounds… they can come flooding back with one offhand comment, one weird look across the table. So, to be candid, I wanted to send a little love your way today with a few reminders that help me stay sane (I’m the oldest of 8 kids and 29 grandchildren, so I have a little experience with family drama!!!)

ANNNDDDD

This is the first year I haven’t ignored the BFCM sales. For the last three years, I was running my own and simply didn’t have the bandwidth to browse. But this year, as part of my Alignment Edit, I’m focused on upgrading all the “good enough” parts of my life to be great — and honestly, what better time to do that than when everything is on sale?

My top favorite daily upgrades to follow, but first, a treat:

I want to say a gigantic, huge, major thank you to you!!!!

This Substack has revived my creativity this year.

It has brought me back to the version of myself who loves writing, loves thinking, loves creating, loves having something to say. It’s reminded me that I’m not just “posting;” I’m building something. This is all because of YOU — you read, you comment, you reply, you show up, and you make this feel like a real community instead of me screaming into the algorithmic void!!!

To celebrate, I’m running 25% off paid subscriptions this weekend (make sure to use this link!!!) as a thank-you for being here, for supporting me, and for helping me fall back in love with making things on the internet again.

And because I love you — and because this community truly revived my creativity this year — I wanted to do a little giveback.

Today’s giveaway:

I’m choosing two readers to receive a PR package with goodies from some of my favorite brands plus a copy of the Too Smart For This journal. Consider it a little “material girl starter kit.”

How to enter:

– If you’re reading this on Substack: like & comment below with one smart upgrade you’re making this season

– If you’re reading via email: hit reply and tell me the same

– Bonus entry: forward this to a friend who would love the newsletter and have them subscribe!!!

Winners announced Sunday.

And stay tuned — I’m doing a special birthday giveaway next week, and yes… it’s going to be good.

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Let’s get started with a few HOLIDAY CHAOS REMINDERS

1. Don’t expect things from people that you know they can’t give.

If Uncle Joe has made rage-baiting his entire personality for the last 10 years, do not expect him to become a Mamdani supporter by dessert. Let people be predictable, even if it’s unpleasant, so you can stay peaceful. This was one of the biggest unlocks for me as the only person in the family that’s left Missouri: not everyone has my values and that’s okay, so be careful about projecting them onto people!

2. Focus on the good, even if it’s tiny.

My late grandmother was certainly crazy for many reasons, but she always made us count our blessings before we pointed out criticisms. Amidst all the drama in the family, she taught us to look for the good even in the worst situations. I think that’s why now, with all of our differences, we all still come together every year and know we can rely on one another.

So whether you’re the only single adult at dinner (me rn)… or the cousin whose life choices are the subject of your gossipy aunts’ side eye this year, find one good moment. Hold onto that. More beauty shows up when you look for it!

3. Give yourself permission to step away.

You can go for a walk. You can hide in the bathroom. You can FaceTime a friend who understands your family better than your family does. And take a moment, through the chaos, to be grateful — I find it’s the only antidote that works for everything.

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My BFCM Philosophy: Daily Upgrades

I get overwhelmed by BFCM every single year. The second everything goes on sale, my brain goes blank. What did I even need? Is any of this worth it? Wait… only 15% off? Be serious.

So to simplify things for myself, I went in with a philosophy: the smartest thing you can do on BFCM is buy the things you use every day.

No shiny distractions (unless I have leftover budget….not in this economy!!!), the daily upgrades that make your life easier, calmer, smoother.

What I did was walk myself through a typical day and notice the things that have been quietly nagging at me —the stuff I tolerate but don’t love. Kitchen knives driving you insane? Upgrade. Need new bras? Upgrade. Ready to finally start taking your supplements? Skip the impulse fashion haul and invest in your greens.

Kitchen knives driving you insane? Upgrade. Need new bras? Upgrade. Ready to finally start taking your supplements? Skip the impulse fashion haul and invest in your greens.

These are my actual ROI purchases for the week (everything linked here on my ShopMy — these are affiliate links and I may earn a small commission if you shop, and even if you just browse the links, it really supports the newsletter so I’d appreciate it <3), just the things that truly serve me (and the AMGs you love)!

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1. Underwear upgrade

I know SKIMS is overpriced, but I tried going for the Target/Amazon dupes this year, and it just didn’t hit the same, so I was thrilled when the sale was actually substantial this year: 30% off. I’m the type who can’t handle too much restriction, and the wireless bras fit me perfectly. I’ve officially ran my last one into the ground, so time for a new Wireless Push Up Bra and the flexible, durable, comfy Boy Short Sets.

I also made a big underwear purchase (these ones are fun!) at Victoria’s Secret (old habits die hard?), because replacing all my intimates once a year is a must!

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2. (Organic) supplement stock-up

I’m unfortunately a bit of a snob about having organic supplements — partly because I know how wild the supplement industry scams can get, and partly because a spiritual teacher once told me that investing in my health was the fastest way to get back into alignment. So now I make an effort to upgrade when I can. I love Sarah Wragge Wellness for their ALKALIZE greens & protein powder (45g a serving!), IAM8 Electrolyte Packets, and finally, the Arrae bloat pills literally run my life.

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3. Beauty buys

Lately, my routine has been ruled by these woman-owned, clean beauty brands:

Westman Atelier (their Vital Skin Foundation Stick — the most natural finish, never cakey & Lip Suede Lipstick in Je Reve — lipstick is BACK and this formula is elite)

Kosas (their Revealer Concealer is the only thing I can use on my forehead that doesn’t look cakey, and their powders are actually so stunning. The founder, Sheena, is an amazing follow, btw)

Summer Fridays blush in Toasted Terracota and a little Kulfi lip oil stain to top it all off — and we’re good to go!

If your routine is already set this is the perfect time to replace your 5 year old foundation brush that’s giving you acne with a new set.

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4. Spruce up your sleep

If you do one grown-woman thing this BFCM, upgrade your bed. I’m shopping H&M Home’s 30% off sale for cheap & cheerful accessories like this cute throw.

Brooklinen is 25% off, which means it’s legally time to replace your “college-era but it’s fine” sheets! I have the luxe sateen ones in the off-white color and they’re the BEST, but I think I’m gonna branch out and grab this stunning blue color!!!

And my Canopy humidifier? It keeps me alive from December to March. Non-negotiable for girls with dry skin and sinus issues!!!

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5. Accessories !!!!

It’s no secret I love eyeglasses, so I’m shopping these Heaven Mayhem Sloane Frames. This Away suitcase has been on my list for a minute — anyone who wants to get it for me is very welcome to!!!!

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6. Outfit upgrades

5/7 days a week, I’m wearing a Reformation piece. 25% off is substantial for the clothes I live in, so I’m repurchasing my favorite low rise black pants, and maybe grabbing this lace dress for my birthday next week.

The best place to stock up on basics rn is Dynamite clothing (30% off everything!) This staple cardigan wowed at Thanksgiving Dinner and their holiday dresses? Well, all their super cute ones are under $100!!!

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7. Toiletry essentials

This is when I buy the things I go through fast — Bioderma micellar water, La Roche Posay moisturizer with SPF, etc etc. Your skin deserves an upgrade going into winter. I also invest in my toothbrush & water flosser, two daily upgrades that keep my dental health on point — nothing grosser than someone who doesn’t floss!!!

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WHEW—that’s all folks. Thank you for being here, angels. You make this space feel alive and fun and thoughtful — and I don’t take a second of it for granted.

If you haven’t subscribed yet, fix that. Paid (25% off this weekend!!!) or free, I’m grateful for you. I can’t wait to keep building this little universe with you.

xx

Alexis