Smart Girls Keep Evolving
how to regain momentum
Hi angels.
First of all, omg… thank youuuu!!! Every time a Substack notification popped up this week, I smiled like I was texting a crush. The response to last week’s letter was overwhelming in the best way — so many of you are also in this weird, wobbly “void space,” figuring out who you are now and what’s next. It’s messy! But it’s also so comforting to know we’re not alone in it.
So let’s keep it going!
Part 1 (ICYMI, read Smart Girls Evolve here) was about the emotional unraveling: the journaling, the nervous system regulation, regulating the chaos to find clarity.
But Part 2? It’s about motion, babe.
It’s about staying in the game. A lot of us suck at this. It’s about remembering that even if you don’t feel fully like yourself (because you MAY be still figuring out who that is!!!), you’re still capable.
This week I was at an event with a bunch of men, where I casually mentioned one of my “pipe dream” ideas — a project big, creative, ambitious, and in an industry I had no experience in.
I caught myself explaining why I was working on the “smaller version” of this project, saying I’d take on the full thing in a few years, once I had more experience, more time, more resources, maybe even a connection to some mythical industry power player.
And all of them looked at me like:
Why don’t you just do it now?
TRULY GENUINELY HATE to admit men were right, but they were right.
It was personal reality check that reminded me why self-worth is so important for women. When faced with our big dreams, we gaslight ourselves into thinking we have to earn them with more readiness, more structure, more credentials.
Meanwhile, men just do it.
That’s the trap ambitious material girls fall into: thinking we need one more degree, one more guy’s approval, one more year of being quiet before we can take up space. But the truth is, the only difference between the version you’re dreaming about and the one you’re doing now… is you deciding to start.
So let this be your reminder: you are capable. You have agency. You can do the thing. You are allowed to try.
Here’s what’s been helping me KEEP IT MOVING without having it all figured out:
✦Release Structure, Embrace Principles✦
Hey so, what if instead of trying to architect yo
ur way into control (AN IMPOSSIBLE THING, BTW), you anchored to principles?
They can be as simple as “I’m not spending over $XXX on dinner unless it’s a birthday,” to “I move my body every day, even if it’s just a walk.” Or “I don’t check my phone for the first 30 minutes after I wake up,” to “I only chase feelings of alignment — not people, jobs, or aesthetics.”
The point isn’t perfection. It’s having true, close-to-the-heart non-negotiables that keep you grounded while everything else shifts.
When the routines break down and the plans go out the window (as they often do during change), those little personal commandments remind you of who you are — even when you’re emotionally (or physically) hungover.
Let your principles carry you until your routines naturally reassemble.
✦Done Is Better Than Perfect✦
This isn’t just an incredibly overdone Pinterest quote. It’s a nervous system strategy!!! As we said last week, PERFECTIONISM IS EMBARASSING.
I just got a new gym membership (so fun, health) but even with all the class options. and my tried & true methods, I could not find a routine or workout that excited me.
So I made a rule: just go every day. Do whatever I want. No pressure. And I get to sauna after. Sauna is the best part of my day. Reward built in.
And it’s working - I’m becoming someone who just goes.
It’s not about my serious, regimented bodybuilding era (will I ever get there????) yet. It’s about building momentum.
In transition, your only job is to remind your body what showing up feels like.
✦Fall In Love✦
Not necessarily with a person (although if he’s tall and has a French passport, I’m listening.)
Fall in love with the little things in life again. Find little obsessions that pull you forward. Lately for me, it’s been listening to the playlists I made as a teenager and giggling at the feelings that come up, devouring documentaries about the ‘60s and ‘70s in hopes that a story will wake something up inside of me, and committing myself to a new creative project that lights me up (coming this week xx).
Or maybe you need to get tf out of your comfort zone, how about that?!?!?
Remember that you can’t possibly fall in love without taking a risk — whether it’s finding the courage to return to something magical in you or facing potential rejection. Keep that in mind when taking action feels uncomfortable. There’s something on the other side.
✦Clarity Isn’t a Lightning Bolt✦
I firmly believe in the importance of clarity — because if you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t have an anchor to what’s enough, and only a crash out can await you then!! (Signed, queen of crashing out due to being indecisive.)
I love going on long walks and meditating to get honest about what I truly, genuinely want. Not just pinning my favorite vintage Chanel bags on Pinterest, but tuning into an emotional frequency of stability and creativity.
When I get anxious (not unoften), I realize it’s because it goes back to either trying to control something I have no control over or not feeling like I know what my intention is.
So I slow down. What’s the feeling I’m chasing? Is there anything that would make this moment feel good, that’s within my control?
Sometimes, when you focus too hard on the specifics going perfectly, you miss all the tiny ways the universe is already delivering.
The biggest thing I want? I want to feel excited in my day-to-day. But with all the responsibilities that come with being a solopreneuer (ew linkedin speak sry), sometimes excitement shows up wearing anxiety’s clothes.
So I retaliated! I’ve started transmuting it.
When I feel nervous, I do the somatic butterfly exercise of intertwining my thumbs, placing my hands on my chest, gently tapping, and asking fear, what if this is excitement in disguise? What if something amazing is about to happen?
I used to feel like I couldn’t take action without knowing the exact, permanent outcome. This exercise and reframe help me accept that discomfort is a temporary portal to my desired outcome.
Clarity isn’t a five-year plan; it’s understanding emotional pulse on your desires.
Detach from the outcome, stay anchored to the feeling. Clarity lives there.
TO myself and to you, dear reader:
You’re not lost. You’re rerouting.
You don’t need a 10-step plan. You just need to do the next right thing.
You’re too smart to sit still. You’re too capable to wait for permission.
And you’re too powerful to forget that this — this messy, stretchy, awkward middle — is the beginning of the most delightful chapter yet.
If you want a space to process all of this?
The Too Smart For This journal was literally made for it.
Buy it here and give your next era a place to begin. Already have it? Leave us an Amazon review if you’re real.
Chat soon,
xx
Alexis
I enjoyed reading this! Thanks!
This is super relatable thank you for sharing. I’m in a transition period right now with my career and I feel this fully! Always appreciate your vulnerability 💜